Do we close our eyes to pray? Perhaps, if it helps us to focus. Some mystical, inward eyes are opened wide though. “Prayer is a way of seeing the world in the light of God” (Rabbi Abraham Heschel). Prayer is learning to see – but only if we get beyond asking God for favors. Remember my 5 elements of any and every prayer – Wow, Thanks, Help, Confession, Commitment?

We spoke last week of Wow and why we are wise to begin there. And then the Thanks – which isn’t a mood that strikes (or doesn’t), but a decision, a habit. I choose gratitude over entitlement or complaint. And I choose gratitude always. Rabbi David Wolpe speaks truly: “There is no trick to being grateful for that which is rare and special. To be grateful for that which is always there is difficult.” Try this difficult thing all week – or for the rest of your life.

Help! is easy, tricky, and full of possibility. Jesus said “God knows our needs before we ask” (Matthew 6:8). But still we ask, building a profound bond with God in doing so. The dicey thing is we think we need what we don’t really need, or what might be detrimental to us; and we are dismally unaware of much we need so very badly. “Needs are spiritual opportunities” (Rabbi Abraham Heschel). A steady diet of Bible reading, in interplay with prayer, reshapes our sense of what we need, of what help we really need. We come to need help we’d never realized, and stop wanting help we once thought we couldn’t live without.

Our asks for help, if shaped by our Bible reading and the other 4 elements of prayer, grow ever more expansive, less narrow. I pray for me, and those close to me, but increasingly for others beyond my circle, even widening my circle. I take on larger concerns, even the troubles of the world.

Take missionary Bob Pierce’s example: “Let my heart be broken by the things that break the heart of God.” That can keep you busy – and growing spiritually, and closer to God and the heartbeat of God’s world. I’m fond even of expressing sympathy toward God for all God has to bear. That’s what love does in a real relationship, right?

If my soul is casting a wide net for the sorrows that weigh on the heart of God, then I find myself inevitably uttering #5 in my 5 elements of every prayer: Commitment. In a family or friendship, if I hear of the worry or suffering or challenge of one I love, I listen, and sympathize – but I’m also likely to promise to do something, to figure out whatever small or large contribution I can make to alleviate the problem. Prayer in a Real Relationship requires no less.

Rabbi Heschel (again) is so wise, and challenging, reminding us that the Bible asks something of us. Prayer invites us to do and be courageous co-laborers with God. Heschel’s phrasings move me: “Man can rely on God, if God can rely on man. To have faith means to justify God’s faith in man.” God has faith in me, and in you!

And so, clearly, “The words of prayer are commitments. The word of prayer is like a pledge in the making.” If I pray as Jesus taught us, “Thy kingdom come, thy will be done,” I’m raising my hand to accept big and small assignments for God. “We are important in God’s design. We are God’s candles to bring light to this dark world. We are needed by God.” If you think you don’t matter, or if you’ve not realized your nobility, there it is: You are needed by God.

   {Bonus episode: watch/listen to my YouTube conversation on prayer with Dr. Dan Snyder, therapist, theologian, and author of Praying in the Dark. It’s superb.}